The Spirit Guide: Meditation 6: Stillness & Loneliness
MORNING
Every day, I ask for an intention, and today, I got "stillness." That's a hard word for someone with ants in her pants. It's pouring here, so it's not like I was going to run around, but, ugh, stillness??? What does that even mean?!
The dictionary definition of stillness is "the absence of movement or sound." I didn't know the sound part, but I definitely remember the "sit still" part from years of being told to do that...usually in places like Church or Grandma Ritter's apartment.
But, I am going to try it. I have a presentation for work today and some meetings, but other than that, I am not going to listen to music, and I am not going to run any marathons. I am pretty sure I wasn't going to do THAT anyway.
Stillness, in the way I am interpreting it, is more than just physical movement, I think. I think it's more a stillness of mind. My mind goes a million miles an hour, and I think the challenge is to focus clearly on one thing at a time and not clutter my mind with all sorts of other things. We shall see how that goes!
EVENING
I managed to stay still all day. It was really nice. I listened to the rain, and got a lot of work done. I couldn't go to pipe practice because our Jeep is still under construction after the Deerpocolypse of 2022. But, I took a lovely nap, and watched a new feel-good Netflix series.
I will say, though, that the challenge of stillness, for someone like me, is the brooding sense of loneliness I feel as a result. People don't often expect outgoing people to be lonely, but I'd argue that we are probably the loneliness of all. As I've mentioned before, I don't take on too many people too closely, and, sadly, more recent additions to the inner circle hadn't worked out.
It's not news that one can feel lonely in a crowd, but, more devastating, is feeling lonely when you are alone. I am not really a phone person, and I am definitely not a party goer, so, when I am still, I am alone. Perhaps my Spirit Guide needed me to confront that part of me because that is kind of what I am dealing with tonight.
I don't really have any words of wisdom or any real thoughts about how to shake loneliness. It is what it is. But, by being still, I could at least see it, and now I can, maybe, address it.
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